A Mice Life in The City
>> 19 May 2013
It's been awhile...
Life had been a roller-coaster ride for me this past months. I've finished law school. (Thanks Heaven!) Been out of BeeTown for two-months already.(The longest I had been away from my mom.) and now currently taking my law review classes here in Manila.
My days are waaayyyy different now. No Mom, to cook food and cheer me up whenever I feel like I had enough reading. No student around to goof with. No classroom to stage and No friends to hang out with.
Instead, what I have, is a small room for myself and my books. Strangers as neighbors. And a whole big city that seems unfriendly. This is how the mice felt when he found himself in the middle of a busy street. Lost. Lonely. Scared.
LOST
There were days when I just feel that I simply don't fit here. You have to understand, I had always been a small-town dreamer. I lived my whole life in BeeTown , took my studies there and had been surrounded by my family ever since. This is a complete 360 for me. If not for the review, I doubt if I would have ever left my literal comfort zone.
But Jesus is said to be more pleased with the Doer than the Dreamer. "He expects the keepers of the land to till the soil,water the seeds, and cultivate their growth. So off I go.Taking the vision He planted in me and constantly asking Him to guide me in His timing.
LONELY
It is true, that the loneliest time of the day are early dawns. Those times when the city as well as every living soul on it are finding peace on their sleep, and you... - well, you are wide awake. Listening to every little sound there is to hear. And thinking how the lack of sleep or none of it can drive a person mad and doubting, along the way, whether you still have in your hands the string connecting you with your sanity.
And then, everything just feels so overwhelming, with all the anguish, pain, loneliness and even anger, that you simply burst into crying. And then you talk..at first you think you are talking with yourself. Comforting your own heart. ..when BANG! realization hits you. Indeed, you are talking. But not with yourself. You are talking with your God. He becomes the Direction to where you Lean. And after that conversation, you'd be at peace again. Completely trusting Him coz you know that He would not lead you somewhere you would regret. He is a Possible God. He Delivers.
SCARED
Along with loneliness comes fear. Many times I had doubted God's plan for me. I constantly have doubts. And that battle within me scares me a lot. And that's when praying becomes a daily medicine I have to take. An undivided heart is difficult to have (what with the constant doubts that we allow to creep in) But it, too, is Possible to have. We just have to ask for it daily. Life is a struggle. I do not trust my own wisdom.I do not think I am strong enough to take on life and its many battles. But then, I realized that God does not leave us in our troubles. He puts us their to discover His provision. We are not to be strong. Rather, we have to find our strength in Him. Let God's Wisdom be Our Refuge.
Life in the city is hard but nothing beyond enduring when you have a God like mine. A Persuasive God. Let His Peace speak louder than our doubts. Our fears. Our trials. We just have to Guard our Hearts for it is where our Saviour dwells.
His WORD stands firm at all times. Can you?
