Balm and Worry-Beads

To doodle or not to doodle...

Something's up. 

I cannot put a finger on it but I know something's not quite right. 

I just knew I'm upset about something. It felt horrible. :-(

There are a lot of things I have on my mind at the moment. A lot on my plate so to speak. I'm afraid I had bitten off more than I can chew. 

It's terrifying to think that I'm alone on this. This anxiety is killing me. I miss my mom and time seems to drag on.  I want to see my friends. Eat healthy. Have fun with my dogs. Just really have some semblance of normalcy. I'm afraid I have tilted and pushed myself far my limit. I'm so NOT having fun now. It felt creepy.

What a mess!. I hope nobody reads this. What an idiot. I'm not using exclamation marks and yet it seems like I've been yelling since the start of this post. 

Hayys! I really need that vacation. 

I just wish Beetown would still feel like Home. Just like before. . .

Just like before. . . everything went awry and messed up that I decided to leave. I needed space. Fresh air. A new place where I won't feel suffocated and the right excuse presented itself. :) So I grabbed it.

I don't have regrets that I did so. Atleast, I had opportunities.
Opportunities to experience a lot of new things. Try new stuffs. Travel and go places. Meet new friends and make new acquaintances. It's pretty neat, actually.

It's just that, although we love fresh starts. It is still different from things you were used to. New places are nothing compared to Home. Old friends are security blankets. And family...,Jeez, Nothing beats Family. 

These makes up my support system. My balm and worry-beads. And believe me, I am so in need of them right now. 

I really got to have that vacation. . . 

-mcm