Not Shaken

After a two-week stay in Beetown, I'm finally back to my second home, Manila. I never had imagined that I would come to consider the Big City as Home. Frankly, I never thought there was life for me outside Beetown. I'm scared of the Big World. I'm not quite an adventurer. :) My life plan was always about "Not rocking the boat. " But life's full of surprises. This is just a testament that  it's not the directions I want to take that prevails but My Lord's purposes for me that wins.

In the past, I had questioned God's love for me. Especially when He seemed not to answer my prayers. I never quite understood why there are steps I planned to take to make my life better, which the Lord doesn't seem to agree. I remember getting frustrated and questioning Him, why He did NOT Will It? For  a long time that was what happened. A vicious cycle of me planning the course of my life, then Asking God to ordain it,  up to Me whining why He did not!. 

I tried to discern why. And I found the answer in Numbers 24: 10. I turned to be a Balak. I tried to persuade God to bless my own agenda and missed the most crucial step in the process. That is, to ask Him what His agenda is. I assumed that what I asked for is part of His plan. I prayed for my agenda without consulting God for His. So that when my plan does not push through as I expected, I get frustrated and angry. And this is very scary. Scary in the sense that it angers God. 

The truth is, almost all of us is guilty of this mistake. We attempt to be the author of our lot. We forget that God has woven His plan on everything. We may plan our course but He has ordered our steps. (Proverbs 16:9)

When our plans do not fit His. He will intervene. And either with or against our will, His agenda will prevail. So whenever you're plans don't seem to happen as you would like it, just remember that whether in rebellion or compliance, God will accomplish His purpose. And no human will can thwart it. 

I do not know what would happen tomorrow. I do not know where God will take me. I do not know how everything would end for me. But for now, I am happy.I know that I am where I am because My God is Sovereign. I've learned to seek Him and trust His guidance. And although there's a daily struggle I have to take in this lifetime with all the corrupt principles of this world. I am not worried anymore. I had found Him and had experienced Him. I am not shaken.

Keep the faith and let Him lead the way.

-makelina