“God, teach me to be patient, teach me to go slow,
Teach me how to wait on You when my way I do not know.

Teach me sweet forbearance when things do not go right
So I remain unruffled when others grow uptight.

Teach me how to quiet my racing, rising heart
So I might hear the answer You are trying to impart.

Teach me to let go, dear God, and pray undisturbed until
My heart is filled with inner peace and I learn to know your will.”

― Helen Steiner Rice

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Today's Prayer

"Lord Jesus, increase my faith and make it strong that I may never doubt your word and promise to be with me always. In every situation I face - whether trials, setbacks, or loss - may I always find strength in your unfailing love and find joy and contentment in having you alone as the treasure of my heart."


-makelina

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Remembering Yolanda (2nd Anniversary)

Today is not just the First of the four Sundays of Bar Examination 2015 (which my good friends Bubbles and Audrey are hurdling as I write ), but the Second Anniversary as well of when Typhoon Haiyan befall in Leyte.

As I read the Scriptures, I couldn't help but shed tears. Today's readings speak of generosity and merciful givings. 

I remember how I was inconsolable in Manila because I got no news of my parents, for five days since November 8. Remembered, how I won't give up staying in front of my computer, trying to scavenge informations  from other Leytenos who might have heard from their families or even trying to trend #helpAbuyogLeyte at twitter, just so media-men would take notice that there is still a lot of coastal towns outside Tacloban, we do not have news of.  Remembered how hurt I was thinking about my parents, -- Are they alright? Is anyone hurt? Do they have meals? 

Two years had since passed, we all moved on. But the pain and the hurt and the sadness we feel whenever we revisit that day, is still raw and fresh. It still continues to haunt all who had experienced it personally and through their families. 

Commemorating it yearly though, is necessary. So people and their families who experienced losses, devastation, hopelessness would realize how God's Mercy kept them alive.

For my family, November 8 is a day spent in grateful thanksgiving. For Jesus, first and foremost and to the people He used as Instruments of His love, mercy and compassion. 

When I eventually received news, that my parents were both okay, I broke down anew-- in thanksgiving and praise to the Lord. When I was told that they don't have food to eat, it crushed my heart again. I prayed and prayed for help from my Provider above. 

And just as He promised, help poured in. Two of my classmates at law school sent money as aid for my family. A fraternity brother from Southern Leyte, generously offered to buy all the goods and bring it to our house. Others, continued sending me updates of my parents.

Thinking about all the help we received and the life we still get to live, make us  grateful of each mornings we get to woke up to. Discernment of what's important and worth admiring, is a natural consequence of going through and surviving the toughest battles . God's Wisdom is impeccable. He is Omnipotent.

He taught that real giving must come from the heart.A gift that is given with a grudge or for display loses its value. But a gift given out of love, with a spirit of generosity and sacrifice is invaluable.

Today, I offer a prayer to all that lost their lives during Yolanda- May your souls find eternal peace in heaven.

and the lives of those they left on earth- May God's peace be with you and in His Mercy, continue to protect you.

and the lives  of  those who help, not only my family, but all of Leyte,- May you continue allowing Jesus to work in and through you for the glory of His Name and the good of others. 

Mabuhay kayo!

-makelina

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On Regrets and Happy Beginnings

Chatted with two of my closest girlfriends  -- Karen and Mamu Goying.

And with both I had felt a different kind of peace, the kind you feel when you know you're in a good place.

Xi Karen made me cry when she surprised me with something. 

It started  with a question on ministry. 

I had  always thought  teaching is mine. But I know that I screwed up the first time I tried my hands on it. However, the hope of doing it right remains locked inside my heart. 

When Karen told me of her wish to continue her studies after her contract ends at Dubai, that little dream of mine started to flutter. And my faith is strong to know that when a seed is planted in my heart, I have to take a leap of faith, for my Jesus is the one who put it there. 

But then again I do not know how to act on it. My parents had gone to surgery  (eye cataract) and my finances at the moment is tight. And I made a promise to myself, that if this is my ministry and this is the road I am led, I would never, never, NEVER screw up again. The necessary deed being that, I have to go back to school and really learn the rope.

As depressed as I am, I did the one thing I knew never failed me. I prayed. I prayed for the Lord to take away the longing, if it's not my ministry. I prayed for the Lord to guide me in the undertakings before me. Should I go forth, or should I turn my back? If everything I'm feeling is in accordance to God's Will,  I prayed for Jesus to show me the instruments on earth He laid for the realizations of His Plans in me.

Way back, He let me meet Maam Siony. Today, as I worry about my finances, He let a friend come around to help me. :) ..and so my happy beginning will start on Monday..(I'll keep u posted on this by Monday. Can't spill everything just yet. Allowing Jesus to Surprise me..)

Mamu, on the other hand, I had a very lengthy conversation about life and taking the leap. I won't gonna share everything here coz I like how that conversation goes up to the top list of my favorite conversations with her.

Mainly, we agreed on these points:

1. Life is short. You have to do what you love and love what you do.

2. Be a GOOD friend no matter what. You don't need to be the best, just be GOOD. 

(Note: ears, respect and space.)

3. Take leaps of faith. No matter where it'll take you, the leap is always worth it.

4. No regrets. Never-NEVER regret . Take every mistake as lessons-learned. 

5. Live a happy life. And that's done by constantly focusing in Glorifying God's Name.

To good friends and good starts! 

God bless!

-makelina

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My Daily Journal Template

Feliz halloween! It's a C-c-c-cooold November 1st!

Been starting my day right, following my Morning Routine. So as promised I'm going to share with you the template I've been using for my daily journal. I found it in the web. Love it's simplicity. And it makes journaling very easy.

YESTERDAY

This is where you list the things you've done the day before. List down the HIGHS and LOWS.

( This allows you to put in a nutshell the things you've went through yesterday without living in the past  but rather focusing of the good things you've achieved.  By listing the highs and lows, you only highlight those that are worth remembering -Highs would give you reasons to smile and the Lows will give you an opportunity to look for lessons to be learned.

NOW

This is where you list the things you are grateful for the day. And how you feel at the moment.

( This allows  you to start your day giving glory to Jesus.  Always start your mornings with a grateful heart. Listing the things you are grateful for,  makes the thought of conquering all the unknown fears of the day easy. .

While listing the feeling you have at the moment, will help you evaluate how you woke up- do you feel tired? okay, or happy? Emotions that could help you  change your sleeping habits (perhaps) in the  succeeding  days.This also allows you to live in the present, focus in the present and really evaluate how you feel, first thing in the morning. )

TODAY:

List your To-Do's.

( This allows you to be productive by organizing your priorities for the day. The act of writing down the things you must do or finish  will make you feel accountable for accomplishing it- TODAY. That sense of responsibility  will turn to be a sense of relief and accomplishment once you'd be able to crash-out the items in your list as the day unfolds. )

Hope this helps!

-makelina

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MORNING ROUTINE

Yay! Finally took a step towards becoming a Morning person. I had done my research and almost all speaks of making a Routine. Made mine and glad to have followed it today. Day 1: Done!

Wake up at 5:00 AM
Pray, Meditate (Gratitude and Affirmations)
Read Bible Verse and Daily Gospel
Drink Lemon Water
Write Journal*
Go out with Lady (Stretch/Walk)
Update Blog
Check News
Prepare for work.


* I'll be posting myJournal Template on my next post.

-makelina

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Crossroads and Awakening

Life for the past three years was volatile. I keep on going forward and back. If you'd read my blogs you would know that I failed in my exam, went under the knife for Endometrial Cancer TAHBSO surgery, had yet to find career peace and had as many bumps in the road as one can imagine in a short span of three years. 

It's not all negative though. I got employed ( so that means, I have a meager salary that helps me and my family), had developed a new sense of independence , got to spend more time doing the things I love (crafts, reading, meditate etc.) and  not only found my faith but started having a personal relationship with God.

I hit bottom. I went through depression. I had the so called quarter-life crisis. I am not completely sure, I'm passed that, too. I have many angst. I have many what ifs. I super go back and think of those many what ifs. The temptation to stay in the past is strong at times. I am so human. 

And though I'm hating myself during those times, it's also on those dark moments that I feel stronger. Because deep in me is the force that fights back, making me focus on the life I have-- on the life I am yet to live and the memories I am yet to make.

The struggle is real. Day in, day out. The difference between today and yesterday is that I  know how it felt to stay in the bottom and wallow. It's a suffocating feeling that takes all the light and joy and sunshine you know you had seen, felt and enjoyed, many times over in your short life. 

The difference is, I know who to call, I know who to think, I know what I'd be missing. 

So everyday, it is important for me to start with a grateful heart. I make sure to thank Daddy God for allowing me another day. I thank Jesus for Redeeming me. And I ask Mama Mary to pray for me as I battle the day. 

My life is far, far, far from being perfect. It's even way far down I used to imagine. But it is Okay. And being able to say it is  okay, is enough blessing and enough motivation for me to start moving forward and gently unravel the day.

Surprise me today, Lord. Do to me as you Will.

I am Yours.

-makelina

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